Last Page of Chaos

Ive been avoiding..
this very last part
which i know I had a bad start
bad process,
tragic for the rest..

How am I suppose to face?
with me having this kind of pace..
I can no longer race,
as Im already lost in this maze..

Will my very last page be a chaos?
being defeated completely by this evil force?!
or will I be able to bounce back?
and have the slimmest chance to fight back?

My mind is totally blank..
knowing that there is abundant to tank..
will my stronghold fall?
and let this be my final call?

Things had not been going well,
Im sure everyone can tell..
Everything is out of plan,
leading me to this darkened den..

oh LORD,
I pray my thoughts,
to u day and night,
hoping for the dimmest light,
to make things right,
and give me strength to fight,
with all my might..


WRITE OUT !!

SAM...will never be forgotten

Hey my fellow SAM mates....

Sure gonna miss u guys... come to think of it, i did have great fun with u guys. As the countdown to tuesday diminishes, the anticipation in me increases... Will life after SAM be fun?? Will it be even better?? Or will it be worse?? Well... the possibilities are infinite... Well, clearly in my opinion, i have already had so much fun that the level of excitement is already at the peak that i figured whatever happens after this has to go down...

However, even if i come back to inti to pursue a degree, Im sure it wouldnt be any bit fun without u guys... SAM CLAN... I love ull... Thanks. The experiences u brought to me during SAM is one that really parallels no other... Thanks guys.... Im sorry if i had hurt any of u guys in any way which i am unaware of... U noe i really don't mean to ryt?? Nwayz... load of thanks again...

SAM CLAN member of 08 forever !!!

p/s: Not written by me... written by bear 08...

Farewell SAM

I had a wonderful day today.. One of my best days in college.. Well, might oso be one of e saddest day of the year.. Its SAM farewell today.. Gosh im gonna miss u guys though v dunno spend much time together.. but that bond is dere somehow.. Me Vinay Eldwin the other guys was suppose to play futsal.. Unfortunately, we went to three places n its all closed !! wtf?! We ended just having lunch n went back.. lols.. wut a morning =]

Wuts next??

Farewell party !! had songs, food, music n lecturers plus frens !! it was a damn nice party with mixed feelings.. I dint know how to feel at that time =\
I left early for the farewell n went back for a nap.. had supper with most of them after that.. they were so loud so loud at al-salam.. omg...though v all enjoyed ourselves.. most importantly rite??
after the supper me n Vinay hanged out wit beers nearby talking bout our lives in INTI.. had a wonderful time talking with him...

They are all going to Malacca tomorrow but me staying back.. haih.. stupid accounts paper !!
Enjoy urselfs guys...

Good luck to all the SAM clan..
U all rock, U all rule..
Thx for this wonderful year..
All the best !!

Missing You

Inside that cold crisp night
I run and run
with my breath all the way up to my chin
I want to completely forget everything about her
I make my mind blank
As usual
I am missing you
Even if the sharp stars scratch me
The moonlight is shining down

The white heart inside of me
is tired from the sorrowfulness
I cry out a blue cry
The white moon way up in the sky
I cant grab it and can only watch the wind blow

I am missing you
Even though the moonlight
is seducing me
There is nothing in the end of the moon
Except to long for something
The vision of you embedded inside in my heart
I am going crazy,
I dunno what to do..
Like a fool,
I am still waiting for you..

PITCH BLACK

Suddenly my whole heart is sinking..
I miss my family..
What has happened?
Why has things turned out this way..
This emptiness I feel..
This loneliness I have..
Things dun seem right..
Things aren't in order..
Things isn't how it seemed to be..

Tears flowing out from my heart..
That piercing pain through it..
Feels as if I am dying..
I am so restless,
so out of strength,
so out of courage,
so out of faith,
so alone in that pitch black night..

I used to love the darkness that surrounds me,
because I alwehz know there will be brightness shining
whenever I need it to..
But,
now where is that beam of light?
Why is it no longer shining?
Has it forgotten that in times of my darkest moments
I need it to bright up my path?
I cant see the road ahead against me..
I cant see where am I heading to..
I see nothing but
NOTHING..

Cold and left alone..
NOTHING to hope for..
NOTHING to pray for..
NOTHING to shelter from..
NOTHING and still NOTHING..
NOTHING but NOTHING..

I Forgot When It Started & When It's Going To End

I forget when it started
I don't know why I'm like this
A day seems so long and doesn't seem to have an end
How does another morning come?
I don't know

I can't do anything while not doing anything
I look at the slow time
Where are you?
What are you doing?
Because I only think of one person

I shouldn't be doing this, I know
I know that I can't love you
My confession will make you go through more pain
I know, I know

Even though I knew
I can't do anything
I can only think of you
If I close my two eyes or open them again
I can only think of one person

The memory I can't erase for one second
even today
I just think of you
and only you..

When is it going to end?

Lost & Found Vows

I have finally found
who can really fit the crown..
But I really dunno
whether i should let her know..
Besides,
should I really let down my pride
and confess
that I don't want to be like the rest..
Deep within me
its very much clear enough for me to see
that things will not work out
so should I just sulk?

That long blond hair
That soothing voice
That fair appearance
That gentle soul
That kind heart
That irresistible smile
That mysterious thinking
That beautiful pair of eye
Everything of her seems so perfect..
Longing for that gentle touch of hers,
it would definitely break me into tears..

Knowing that impossible crawls around me so often..
Knowing that loneliness is alwehz hanging by the door..
Knowing that happiness never seemed to like me..
Guess it will just be another thought of mine to be kept soundly..
Guess its just another miracle in the making..

Questions, questions & still questions !!

I would thrust my way through any obstacle to protect her..
Throw in my single heart to fulfill her every wish..
Giving out all I have left of me to love her in every way..
Spreading my care for her to every single corner in her heart..
Burning myself in place of her miseries..
Stabbing my heart for her heartaches..
Being under the rain for her when she cries..
I would do ANYTHING for her to achieve fullest happiness..

Hoping with every last wish
that I could be the ONE..
I would LOVE you with all my heart..